Focus on the present moment
To Overcome the Habit of Constant Checking, Focus on the Present
Anxiety serves as a sensor indicating that safety might be compromised. When this sensor's settings are off, you might feel anxious even when there's no real danger. Trusting yourself, who has navigated life safely so far, is a good strategy. Worrying about the future doesn’t improve outcomes. Since you can’t predict exactly what will happen, perfect preparation is impossible.
You can harness your greatest strength by focusing on the present. Everyone has experienced losing track of time while deeply engrossed in something. At such times, anxiety and distractions fade away as you concentrate solely on the task. By focusing on the present, you avoid wasting energy on unnecessary worries and improve your results. Concentrating on the present moment is key to enjoying each day and overcoming anxiety.
Focus on the Present Even When You Feel Lonely
Loneliness often reflects a desire for connection with others or oneself. To overcome loneliness, establishing a connection is essential. This connection can be with yourself, which means accepting yourself as you are. Rather than judging yourself, being present with your true self is crucial.
Pretending to be someone you're not may improve your superficial reputation, but it doesn’t fill the void of loneliness. To truly alleviate loneliness, seek out people who accept you as you are.
To live in the present, you should avoid focusing solely on goals related to the future. Goals are tied to future outcomes, but enhancing your quality of life now is more important. Concentrate on what needs to be done right now. People who stay focused on the present tend to feel happier.
Being able to be alone with yourself, or having "solitude strength," means observing and caring for yourself better than anyone else. Pay attention to your own feelings and needs. Those who can’t find happiness alone will struggle to find it with others.
In an attempt to relieve loneliness, people may engage in various behaviors, like eating out of boredom or overindulging in shopping or alcohol. Instead, focusing on something during your alone time can prevent feelings of loneliness. Many people find that immersing themselves in activities, like cooking or taking a relaxing bath, helps them avoid loneliness.
Thus, loneliness often indicates a lack of living in the present. What matters is not just what you do, but how you think about it. To escape loneliness, living in the present moment is necessary. When you focus on what you love or what engages you, you often don't feel lonely. When you do feel lonely, it's often more effective to give rather than to receive. Write a heartfelt letter to someone you haven't been in touch with for a while or make a small donation to a charity. Acts of giving without expecting anything in return help alleviate loneliness. By giving, you live fully in the present and find joy in life.
Practice accepting yourself as you are. Instead of anxiously seeking to be loved by others, prioritize relationships with people who love you for who you are. Evaluate your relationships from the perspective of whether your partner accepts you as you are. Starting from a place of self-acceptance allows for more robust and satisfying relationships. If a relationship causes distress, it may indicate that you need someone who aligns better with your needs. Remember, you are the primary decision-maker in your life. The people you choose to have close to you are also your choice.
Accepting yourself as you are releases emotional flexibility through your own strength. Rather than forcing change, accepting yourself can lead to personal strength and resilience. By observing and accepting, rather than changing, you allow yourself to grow stronger. Accepting someone as they are, despite negative emotions, means embracing them wholly, just as you would want to be accepted.
